Chack is Fruity
by CrystallicSky
Summary: But we all knew that: a prima donna warlord and a femmy goth-boy? A couple of fruits for sure! CHACK, ONESHOT


**Chack is Fruity**

**By: CrystallicSky**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or any of its characters.**

**Warnings:Language, sexual implications, etc.**

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

**_Grapes-_**

Chase Young sighed leisurely as he relaxed back into the lounge chair, smirking as a plump, round grape appeared beside his mouth, held between a milky white finger and thumb.

"Would you care for another grape, my lord?" Spicer cooed from the plush, velvet cushion to his right.

The warlord took a moment to examine the boy's outfit, noting how charming the albino looked dressed in various bits of silver jewelry, a black loincloth, and nothing else.

By the gods, was he smitten with this role-playing game of Spicer's!

"I would, my concubine," he purred as he accepted the bit of fruit into his mouth, making sure his tongue brushed seductively against Jack's slender fingers as he did so. "And perhaps I shall have _you_ for dessert…"

**_Tomato-_**

"No way."

"Its true, Spicer."

"Shut _up_, no it isn't."

"It is."

"Bullcrap, that's impossible!"

"You have your laptop on you, Spicer. Why not check your precious 'Info-God'?

"Fine, I will!"

There was a brief lapse in conversation as Jack started up his computer and began typing in the URL for Wikipedia at the speed of sound, soon keying, 'tomato' in the search bar.

"Aha," the teen crowed, "here it is! _Botanically, a tomato is the ovary, together with its seeds, of a flowering plant: therefore it is…a…fruit…_"

Chase grinned smugly at his lover. "I told you so," he gloated.

The goth's cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment, and he shut his laptop with a snap, grumbling, "Shut up, you; you and your knowing of things..."

**_Blueberry-_**

Jack turned from the oven, mitts protecting his hands from the heat as he removed another tray of muffins to set upon the table. "You _really_ like blueberry, huh?" he inquired, watching his beloved sink his teeth into a blue-speckled baked good, moaning as if he were in the middle of the best orgasm of his long-long life.

"Spicer," the warlord began, indulgently licking his lips of the heavenly flavor, "if you continue making these muffins for me, you shall have me for eternity."

"Oh, god, its true," the goth chuckled, "the quickest way to a man's heart _is_ his stomach!"

Chase stood from his seat at the kitchen table, stalking closer to his aproned and mitted mate. "There _is_ one quicker way," he purred, catching the youth in his arms and giving him a predatory grin, "_if_ you'd like to try it…"

"Sounds great," Jack smirked right back, already slipping off his oven mitts.

**_Pomegranate-_**

"You know, Spicer," Chase mused, "this reminds me of that old Hades and Persephone myth."

"What?" Jack inquired. "The fact that we're sharing a pomegranate?"

"Yes, exactly that."

The goth suddenly smirked and teased, "I don't have to have any more seeds, then: I've already had twelve, you know."

Chase snorted and forced a thirteenth past the youth's lips. "One extra can't hurt," he said. "That way, there's a _negative_ chance of you ever escaping me, Spicer."

Jack snickered and grabbed the fruit from his lover. "I'm just glad I'm not as dumb as Persephone." At the warlord's look, he explained, "She actually _wanted_ to run away from the dark lord who wanted her as his significant other."

**_Melon-_**

"Hey, Chase!"

The man looked over to where his lover stood in the super-market and almost immediately had the thought that suicide was looking _very_ appealing in light of his embarrassment at the fact that the goth he called his lover was holding two cantaloupes to his chest.

Jack grinned cheekily at him and inquired, "How do you like my _melons_?"

Thinking quickly, Chase excused, "I'm sorry, I don't believe I know you," before walking out of the produce section to escape the stares of the other shoppers.

**_Lime-_**

Chase Young looked up from his reading, mildly startled, as a carbonated soda beverage and a lime were shoved into his hands, causing his book to drop to the floor.

Jack Spicer stood before him expectantly, as if waiting for him to do some act obvious only to him.

They stared at each other for a moment, and at last, the warlord asked. "What is it you want me to do with these, Spicer?"

The goth scoffed, putting his hands on his hips as he explained, "You put the lime in the coke, you nut. _Duh_."

The look on the man's face was so priceless that even upon taking a Coca Cola can to the head, Jack could not stop laughing.

**_Banana-_**

"You have never given fellatio, Spicer?"

Jack flushed a bright red. "N-no! I was a virgin when we met; how could you not have figured as much?"

The warlord looked at him seriously. "I could care less as to whether you have experience: you _will_ be sucking my cock."

"B-b-but," the goth protested in a squeak, "I don't even know _how_! I've never-"

Chase interrupted him with a rough sigh. "You have eaten a banana before, haven't you, Spicer?"

Jack paused his embarrassed freaking out to give his lover a _look_.

"Alright," the man conceded, "then it is quite similar to that. The only difference is that if you try to bite off a piece, I shall have to kill you."

"So…I should just think of it like that?"

"If that helps you do it, then yes."

"Okay," Jack decided, "I can do that…yeah." He inched forward on the bed, starting to undo his lover's sash as he warned, "Now, I've never had a _cream-filled banana_ before, so don't fault me for _sucking_."

Chase wrinkled his nose at the goth, stating, "You are a crude, nasty little boy, aren't you, Spicer?"

The youth laughed but wondered, "Do you want me to suck your cream-filled banana or not?"

"…carry on."

**_Pineapple-_**

Chase Young was in something of a habit of spying upon a certain evil boy genius.

Truly he could not help himself and often paid unseen visits to the Spicer manor, simply watching the pale youth do whatever he happened to be doing at the moment. More often than not, the warlord tried to time it so that he caught the goth in the shower, eager to get a better look at that slender, white body.

And why not? It would be a common sight upon his sheets in another year or so should he have his way, and Chase Young _always_ had his way.

It was just one of those days of spying on Jack (unfortunately _not_ in the shower; dammit!) that caught the boy sitting upon the floor of his bedroom with a book in one hand and a pineapple in the other.

Puzzled, Chase continued to watch as the youth glanced back and forth between the two for nearly five whole minutes before slamming the book shut and tossing the pineapple carelessly to his bed.

He shook his head as he stood, murmuring, "No _way_ that'd work…" before placing the book upon his desk.

The warlord noted the lettering upon the book-jacket that read, 'New Tactics and Stratagems for Wooing that Elusive Dark Lord,' but only had a moment to ponder what evil of evils was very nearly done to him involving that pineapple as Jack stormed over to his closet and began rummaging through it.

"Ugh," the youth moaned in disgust, "now I've gotta try the 'seduce his enemy' tactic….Man, this sucks: he's got the least attractive enemies _ever_! I'll probably end up having to do the nasty with Guan." Here Jack visibly shuddered and turned a bit green. He turned from the closet and flopped onto his bed. "Okay," he said to himself, "I'll go see Chase first and ask if he'll go out with me. If he says no…" the green tinge deepened, "then its Guan plus mind-control device plus puke-inducing fornication." The goth seemed to consider his plan for a moment before pressing his face into the pillow with the utterance of, "_Fuck_, it's the biggest lose-only-situation ever…"

Chase, from his place in the shadows, thought on this for a moment. Spicer…was planning on running to _Guan_ should he be rejected one more time?

The _hell_ he was!

The warlord was gone to his citadel in the space of a second, intent on preparing the bedroom before he would wait for Spicer's 'surprise' visit.

**_Peach-_**

"Please, no," Jack shrieked, huddling in on himself as the dragon of wind came at him, fist poised, "I bruise like a _peach_!"

Rai gaped as his fist was intercepted by a larger, gloved hand, startled to see Chase Young directly in front of him and giving a glare that could strip paint off a wall.

"You _dare_ threaten _my_ mate?" the warlord growled in a low tone, sending dread flooding the Brazilian's entire body.

"H-hey," he stuttered, trying to pull his fist back to no avail, "s-since when do y-you care about that dork, a-anyways?"

"I don't believe that's any of your business," Chase snapped matter-of-factly, wasting no time in knocking the impudent whelp out cold (noting Spicer's obvious relaxation at the action behind him).

Still, as he turned back to face the youth, moving closer to him, he made the honest statement that he was nearly 100% sure would be getting him laid tonight, if not within the next five to ten minutes.

"But…I care since he has become _my_ dork."

**_Strawberry-_**

"The Lao Máng Lóng does not do the job on its own, Spicer," Chase informed his young consort. "While it provides for eternal life indefinitely, eternal youth is just a bit trickier. There are other measures that must be taken to ensure a _complete_ lack of aging."

"And, uh…and _this_ is one of those?" Jack questioned, looking warily at the red liquid filling up the bathtub.

"Precisely," the man assured. "Now come, mate: bathe with me."

Hesitantly, the goth dropped his towel and did as he was told dipping only a single toe into the bath before pulling it back. "It's _warm_!" he shuddered.

"Would you prefer it cold?" Chase inquired.

Jack admitted to himself that he would not and once more approached the tub, forcing himself to ignore his shrieking gross-factor and slipping fully into the liquid. "Aw," he moaned, "its all sticky…that's nasty…"

The warlord snorted at the squeamish behavior his lover was exhibiting. "I would not have expected you to balk so easily at this, Spicer."

"Sorry," the youth apologized. "I just…you're _sure_ we're not bathing in the blood of young women?"

"Unless 'young women' has suddenly become slang for 'strawberries', Spicer, then yes, I am sure." Chase hooked an arm around his consort's waist, yanking him closer through the sweet-smelling liquid of the bath. "I am _not_ some savage brute like the Countess Báthory, after all."

Slowly growing used to the feel of the strawberry juice on his body, Jack wondered, "So this stuff really works, huh?"

"Oh, most certainly so," the warlord promised. "I was made curious by figures such as Madam Tallien and Fontenelle early on in my immortality, and upon giving it a try, I was pleasantly surprised with the results. It seems strawberries possess certain magical properties that aid in maintaining youthful appearance of the skin. In combination with my regimen of Lao Máng Lóng to keep the rest of my body young, these strawberry baths keep me from getting so much as a minuscule wrinkle as a result of any environmental factors."

"Neat," the youth whistled. "I've just got one question."

Chase cocked an eyebrow. "And what is that, Spicer?"

"Am I allowed to drink the bathwater? 'Cause it smells _really_ good now that I'm past the grossness of how it feels."

**_Cherry-_**

"Chase, Chase, Chase!"

The warlord sighed as Jack ran excitedly into his throne room, panting a bit from the slight exertion of the task. "What is it you want, Spicer?" he boredly inquired.

"Okay," the youth began, "it's taken me, like, three goddamn months, but I've finally figured it out; watch this!" He pulled what looked to be a good twenty cherries out of his pocket and popped them into his mouth, tearing off the fruit with his teeth and swallowing it to leave only the mess of stems which he then placed upon his tongue.

With the goth's mouth closed, Chase could not see much of what Jack was doing, but he could see the definite effort of tongue and teeth within the albino's mouth from the outside as they worked towards an unknown goal.

Soon enough, Jack was finished and opened his mouth, revealing a…oh, dear god, was that a _carousel_ made out of cherry stems?

The boy plucked the miniature object off of his tongue and balanced it upon one index finger, using the other to make the teeny carousel spin and prove it functional along with astounding as he chuckled to himself, "_Fuck_ yeah…"

Chase had no words any longer and simply pounced upon his lover, _extremely_ curious as to what learning this new skill had done for his Jack's tongue-dexterity…

**_Orange-_**

"Spicer…should I even bother this time?"

The goth looked up from his meticulous task. "Oh, hey Chase! I'm just helping out in your garden a little."

The warlord cocked an eyebrow. "By placing…orange peels," he half-stated, half-questioned.

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Orange peels are good for repelling slugs; I know you don't like it when you find the gross little things hanging around and all that."

"…" Chase was honestly surprised at the thoughtfulness of the action (what had happened to his lover's screwball-nature all of a sudden?). "What prompted this, Spicer?" he inquired.

"Well…" the youth blushed a bit, a pale pink dusting lightly over his white cheeks in a way that the dragon lord found simply charming. "Your garden's really nice, but you never spend any time in it, and…I was sorta thinking _we_ could…you know…hang out here for…awhile…"

Amused by the shy behavior, knowing Jack's lack of confidence in posing romantic activities for the two of them in fear of being rejected, Chase approached the boy, kneeling by his side.

"An excellent idea, Spicer," he assured, watching a brilliant grin light up the albino's face, "perhaps we could have a picnic amongst the lilies."

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

**A/N: I'm running out of stuff to do for these things: I've resorted to fruit. ._.**

**Anywho!**

**_Grapes-_ Role-playing is fun. ;P**

**_Tomato-_ CHASE YOUNG KNOWS ALL! HIS OMNISCIENT POWER RIVALS THAT OF INFO-GOD! XD**

**_Blueberry-_ PENIS! XD (That's the other way to a man's heart, ;P)**

**_Pomegranate-_ Shameless plug for my Hades and Persephone short story!**

**_Melon-_ ...no comment. ^^;**

**_Lime-_ Am I the only one who found this advertisement for Coke with Lime from ages ago to be obnoxious and silly? -_-"**

**_Banana-_ Hooray for phallic foods and dirty use of metaphors! :D**

**_Pineapple-_ Title of the book courtesy of Kellviete, whom I promised I would use it in a fic somewhere. Now, what _was_ Jack planning on doing with that pineapple? o.0**

**_Peach-_ It _will_ be in the next five to ten minutes, by the way. ;P**

**_Strawberry-_ Nowadays, people crush strawberries to make them into an exfoliant for the skin, but even before that was known, some people used strawberries for that reason. Madam Tallien (1773-1835) used to bathe in strawberries to maintain the radiance of her skin and Fontenelle (1657-1757) lived nearly a full 100 years (he was only off by a two days more than a month) by eating lots of strawberries. I just upped the ante here and made them have magical properties! ;P Oh, and also: the Countess Báthory killed a lot of young women violently (occasionally raping them, I believe) and it was later rumored that she bathed in the blood of young women to remain young.**

**_Cherry-_ Naughty things happened next; rest assured in that. XD**

**_Orange-_ Fluffy-Chack is cute! :D**

**So that's 'Chack is Fruity' for you; hope you liked it! :D**


End file.
